Out in Left-Centre Field

Y'know, I hate making myself a hypocrite.

Last time I wrote on here, if you, dear reader, might recall, I ragged on the CYA for falling down a slippery slope of inactivity. Long story short, I did my level best to excoriate (1) the CYA parties for not pulling together, (2) the CYA membership for fighting inactivity with more inactivity, and (3) the subordinate members of the CYA staff/volunteers for failing to take the lead in engaging the members. I called out others for, as I saw it, not pulling their weight.

So what did I promptly do, then? I went and left this blog alone for more than four freakin' months. Kinda long for anyone who might claim to have a burning desire to light a fire under this assembly's rear end, don't you think?

I left this blog alone, I left my party alone, I damn near left the CYA forums alone, and even though I could hide behind the excuse of being a third-year engineering student with a crippling amount of coursework, I won't.

Why? Because people other than myself have dedicated far more of their time and effort to the causes of their choosing. I have been, and still am, too stuck in having "time to myself" to be as dedicated as many people who I see around me. I need to get out of that comfort zone, but try as I might, my successes in doing so have only ever been temporary things.

I have no moral grounds on which to criticize others if I'm not willing to sacrifice the time myself. Sure, I've been with the CYA a long time, and sure, I've helped with some key things in the past (like the 177 ridings I should be writing about), but if I'm failing to motivate myself now, what gives me the right to rip others for doing the same?

I am weak. Is that what makes me human? Or is it what makes me a lousy one?

Call it an apology, call it a mea culpa, call it the inane ramblings of a despairing mind, call it whatever you wish. I have been a lousy asset to the CYA and to my party (or what's left of it), and I'm sorry. Sorry that I've let people down; sorry that I didn't do better when I readily could have; sorry that I never delivered on the potential of the past.

But then, what did you expect? Perfection? Because if perfection's what you're waiting for, don't hold your breath.

We're all flawed. We get angry, jealous, lazy, greedy, vain, lustful and wasteful. At the same time, we can all be great people to one another in spite of whatever may stand between us. We are capable both of great achievements and great failures. What we need to do, then, is pick ourselves up, bite the proverbial bullet and do what needs to be done to succeed and to go beyond our limits.

Let's get out there, and let's help the CYA kick some ass. Together.

- Adam S.